Ah, summer! The time of year when we pack away our jeans and sweaters and haul out our shorts, tank tops, and swim wear. The time of year where we shop for all the newest & hottest summer so we can stand in front of the mirror and....complain about how we look. Ah, summer. What is it about bright sun and warm weather that pummels our self-image into submission? In my house we have both side of the spectrum: There's my 14 year-old who put on her size one shorts and obsesses about whether or not she is bigger or smaller than her mom was at her age. And then there's me... I'd shove my 50 pound overweight body into my high-school swim team Speedo and stand in front of the mirror thinking to myself, "You, my friend, are a few sit-ups away from People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive!" To picture me at the beach, imagine a 6'6" cross between a low-land gorilla and a manatee stuffed into a bright pair of board shorts. Yet there I am at the beach almost weekly. The other summer anomaly I don't understand is the inverse law involving confidence level and sheer girth. When I see that Stay-Puffed marshmallow of a human packed into toddler sized clothing with what appears to be 30 pounds of bread dough bursting from every gap in material strutting down the beach like Angelina Jolie on the red carpet, part of me stares in horror and part of me stares in awe. Do they love that look or do they accept that look? And should it really matter to anyone but them? Personally, I blame Disney. The Disney Company trawls out 'perfect' young people that can sing, dance, act, and look perfect in the eye of the camera. That's what our kids have to hold themselves to. Every boy is compared to Zac Efron and every girl to Ashley Tisdale (post nose job, of course). Indigo (my 14 year-old) can move you to tears with her voice, she won the lead in her school's production of 'Annie', is a high honor roll student, and is developing into a beautiful young woman. However, she won't leave the house without doing her hair and has to constantly be monitored so she doesn't wind up Tammy-Fae Bakering herself up to fit in with her other overly made-up freshmen peers. Someone like her has absolutely nothing standing between her and a monster ego and yet... Does this insecurity come from us the parents? Of course it does.... up to a point. We, as caring responsible grown-ups, just find it so much more convenient to place the blame on peers or other outside influences. How much blame, though, comes from the home I really can't say. I mean, my mom's been on a diet since Rock Hudson was straight and smoking cigarettes was considered healthy; and yet neither my brother, sister, or myself are really hung up on our weight. It still really doesn't answer how some people are completely comfortable with who they are, and some aren't. We constantly tell them they should be proud of who they are. But honestly, that like telling someone not to worry. The only time you tell someone not to worry, is when they're already worrying. Ultimately, self-esteem has to come from inside each of us. The number that pops up on the scale is a fact. It doesn't tell us we're fat, skinny, or pretty. It's just a number. What that number tells us shouldn't define who we are, or even what we should wear. What we see when we look in the mirror is a heck of a lot more important then what we see when we step on the scale. Embrace we you are! Put on that bikini or tank top and I'll see you at the beach. I'll be the manatee in the obnoxious board-shorts.
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