The Lost Art of Boredom

Last Wednesday I took a nap. I was home between the lunch and dinner shift and everyone was engaged in something; Kovi was home sick and currently sedated by Disney, Indy was at an after-school meeting, and Lori was happily typing away at the computer. No one needed anything from me. It seemed like a perfect time for a little escape. Fifteen minutes of decompressing, 30 minutes asleep, 15 more minutes of re-booting for the afternoon. It was perfect. At what age did we decide naps were a bad idea? While that may not seem like a big deal to some, it probably seems like an impossibility to others. I'm either lazy or lucky! We hear that old mantra 'stop and smell the roses' all the time. But seriously, do we even know where to find roses to smell? We pack more and more into our days and have completely ruled out time for nothingness. What time we don't allot for working, family, or sleeping, we quickly fill with recreation assuming its going to relax us, but hurrying to get a bike ride in between work and dinner only fills the time, it doesn't necessarily undo the stress of the day. We need to make time to do nothing. Time to be (and appreciate being) bored. I learned this from one of the hardest working people I know: Koval, my seven-year-old son. His typical day begins with a shower at 7:30a.m, school from 8:15 to 3p.m. One-on-one therapy from 3:30 to 6:30p.m, and bed time at 8. That leaves him with 90 minutes of time for himself out of a 24 hour day. So what does he want to do with that time? Nothing! He doesn't want to go to a park, or go hiking, or anything else for that matter. He wants to sit with his superhero books and Pixar DVDs and do nothing. There are a few things that sometimes trump 'nothing'. Kovi will almost always spring off the couch to go swimming. And lately his favorite thing to do is take our bikes to McDonald's under the promise of french fries. But ultimately he chooses to be bored. It's his prerogative and I will respect it. The other day he and I were walking ahead of the girls from the parking lot to the beach and he was already planning where on the beach we were going to sit and rest. I mocked his laziness, but followed him to the rocks to 'rest.' Sitting there we watched the clouds roil over-head and tried to guess where the sun would peek through next. It was here that I began to accept the body's need for boredom. I work in a kitchen, so I stand 8-10 hours a day. Biking and hiking may get my mind to focus on something other then the kitchen, but my legs sure aren't going to think anythings changed. We all need to power-down completely from time to time. Perhaps that's why meditation is becoming so mainstream right now. It's a grown-up version of watching the clouds. We're realizing that its inconceivable to adequately unwind with a week or two of summer vacation after spending the other fifty weeks working ourselves stupid. Now it's time to sub-divide our already scarce free-time. We need to spend time freeing our body (back to hiking & biking), our mind (I just read a great book about growing up in the 50's, and I write this blog), and we can't forget to rest our soul. Can you imagine a simpler time then when you were seven? When we look at kids, we assume they're happily taking their childhood for granted. But perhaps they are not really taking anything for granted. They know that the river they throw rocks in will still be there to throw rocks into even after they grow up; the wind will still blow the clouds across the sky; and we'll always feel better after a nap. It is us, the grown-ups, who take life for granted. Life is what happens while we're busy making other plans. That shouldn't be the case. Don't be envious of the children....be inspired by them.

Dedicated to Jeff & Dana -- New parents to be.